Motherhood is hard. From pregnancy, labor & delivery, breastfeeding, sleepless nights with a brand new baby, those stinkin’ teeth that keep everyone up, tantrums, potty training, finding balance and everything in between. Harper turned two recently and it’s hard to believe how quickly those two years have flown by. In the beginning, I worried so much about getting it all right. I was clueless. I had never been a mother before and had no idea what I was doing. Obviously there’s no manual for this, so thank God for maternal instincts. You bond and enter into a groove with this new little miracle and somehow everything works out. They grow and thrive in the midst of you trying to be the perfect mom.
There are new challenges that you face with each season, but there’s so much beauty in this thing called motherhood. We have the best job in the world. These precious little babies rely on us for everything. We are their lifeline. I read once “The days are long, but the years are short”. How true is that? There are seasons in our life that come and go in the blink of an eye.
If you are a mother, you know there are great days that are full of kisses and bear hugs, sweet snuggles and memories in the making. Then there are those taxing days that get the best of us…full of tantrums, no naps, fits, outbursts and discipline that fall on deaf ears. Those days are the hardest. When you just want some time to be selfish, have a quiet cup of coffee with a book, catch up on DVR, browse the internet…you know, the things you did before you became a mama. In those days for me, it’s after bath time and he’s put to bed that the quiet hits. There’s time to reflect on the day, the good and bad. I find myself thumbing through all the pictures and videos on my phone of this little guy, who at times makes me want to pull my hair out. Yet, there’s always a smile on my face and joy in my heart because I’m reminded of all of those precious little moments that outweigh any bad ones. This little angel is mine. Formed from my very being. What joy and delight he brings to our lives. He’s just this little human trying to figure out how to communicate the feelings he has, and then attempt to relay them to one of the most important people in his life, his mama.
There will come a day when the house is always quiet. The toys will be gone and the so will the pitter-patter of feet running through the house. I will remember and cherish the days where your little fingers would grab mine and you’d say “Mama, come play” or “Mama, kisses”. I will be thankful for all of it… the good and the bad, because it was all a part of YOU!
So, to my sweet Harper Gray…
One day you will read this and I want you to know, you are so loved. You’re our greatest blessing and most treasured accomplishment. I prayed so diligently for you my sweet baby boy. Daddy and I thought about what a gift this child would be if the Lord willed it for us. I always dreamt of being a mother and what it would be like. You are my dream come true and I’ve found my best role in life by being your mother. I never knew a child could be so nurturing and kind hearted until you came along. I’m so thankful God chose us to be your parents. I pray many things over your life…for safety and health, that you continue to show kindness and compassion as you grow. I also pray for your future wife and God’s timing in orchestrating you meeting her. But most of all I pray for your future, that you would open your heart and come to know the Lord at an early age, that you would seek him in directing your life for his will and purpose. You’ll face trials and challenges, but know that you can achieve amazing things in this lifetime if you pursue the Lord, show kindness, and are passionate. Great blessings are ahead of you and I’ll be the mom on the sidelines cheering you on through it all.
Forever grateful to be yours,