The Wait – Our Journey Through Infertility

Guest Post by Vanessa Sokic at Daily Delivered

You fall madly in love, tie the knot, and then enjoy a blissful honeymoon. {Or in our case, you elope to Vegas and then go back to work.} We all know what comes next…

But what if it doesn’t?

As a kid I would play that M.A.S.H game with my girlfriends. You know the one I’m talking about? It was a two-player paper-to-pencil game which revolved around a set of headings or categories, such as, who player 1 will be married to, how many kids they will have, the car they will drive, what pets they will have, player 1’s job, and yearly income. Never once as a kid did I think my plans to live in a mansion with 5 kids and Mercedes SLK 500 wouldn’t come true.

After we got married in 2004 at the ripe age of 21, we decided to throw the idea of birth control out the window and trust God’s timing in growing our family. It may have seemed crazy to those around us, but I already had a feeling conception wouldn’t be so easy, as I had symptoms that suggested I wasn’t ovulating.

After many doctors visits, I was given some ridiculous explanations for my symptoms. Even as a teenager, I knew that I needed to do my own research and not just trust what the doctor advised. After doing so, I concluded that I had PCOS. Nearly one-third of all infertility diagnosis are PCOS. Many woman don’t even know that PCOS is the culprit because the symptoms vary from one person to the next. My doctor agreed. Thanks doc, glad I could help.

So after a few years of taking awful medications that only made matters worse, and really, just put a bandaid on the problem, we felt the Lord was telling us to fully trust Him and stop all medications. What freedom I felt after making that decision! There were so many things I was doing to try to figure it all out and make it happen, but then there was this peace that truly surpassed all understanding, and we just trusted Him.

Y’all, I worked in a crisis pregnancy center where daily I would overhear women debating as to whether they would keep the tiny life they had just learned was growing inside of them or choose to terminate. The very thing I wanted so desperately, they could just throw away? Yes, there were some difficult days. Every time that I took a pregnancy test and saw that one line telling me yet again, that my dreams of being a Mommy were still so far off, I would look in the mirror and say, “I trust you Lord”.

In this time of waiting, God used us. We were able to love on our friends’ children and give them date nights. We spent time growing together as a husband and wife in ways that will forever shape our marriage. We became foster parents in order to be a voice for a teenager who needed to be defended, and then fostered multiple children. I became an advocate for the unborn in my time working with crisis pregnancies centers.

After 9 years of waiting, we miraculously saw those two lines on the test. We named her Elliana, which means, “God has answered me”.

There will always be something we hope for, but what will we do with the wait?

 

Vanessa Sokic is a SAHM and lives in Franklin, Tennessee with her husband, toddler and dog. She is a freelance writer, editor and blogger at DailyDelivered.com.  When she’s not chasing after a toddler, you can find her studying the chemistry of essential oils and learning ways to eliminate chemicals in the home. Soon she will be frolicking the lavender fields in Utah to learn about Young Living’s Seed to Seal process and will be sharing that experience on her blog and through Periscope {@vsokic}.